Audition

When I was in high school I played in the band. During football season and parades I played an alto Saxophone and for concerts I played Oboe. My senior year I was entered into a competition to play in a student orchestra, sponsored by the city's Symphony Orchestra. My band teacher selected a piece for the Oboe. I don't remember what it was, but I didn't like it. I did practice because I wanted a chance to play in an orchestra. It was extremely technical and difficult to play, but I thought I had mastered the technique. I didn't get a chance to find out from the Symphony's players or conductor, because my band teacher told me that I wasn't good enough and he would not allow me to audition. 

One might be thinking that he was right, but I had formal music training since I was five and had played a wind instrument for six years and three on the Oboe.  I had been exposed to classical music before I started taking piano lessons. I may not have been good enough, but I was good enough to audition. If I had failed, I would have had the experience and exposure.  In college, this would have given me the confidence to play well enough in the University's orchestra to perform with them.

I thought about this now, because I still want to play, now that I'm retired and I have to start over. Buy an instrument, take lessons and hope that I can attain the facility I had in high school. I do think that I have a better grasp on music interpretation now that I'm older, which I hope will make others willing to play with me.

I think of the reason I was not allowed to audition, it is that I would have been among the first; the first Negro, that burden of perfection.  During that time, that is what Black people wanted to send out into the white world. Yes it was well known that you had to be twice as good or work twice as hard to get that position or recognition, but I wonder how much talent has been stifled, because of some ill conceived notion of not being perfect.

Today forty years later, we are still remarking about the first Negro, which gives the impression that Black people have hardly made any strides. Reflecting on my audition, I am beginning to think that the celebration of the First sends the wrong message.

That student orchestra wasn't filled with white prodigies, they were musicians. Most would never have solo careers or play with the New York Philharmonic, The Philadelphia Orchestra or The Chicago Symphony, but they might have had careers in music, staying in their small town, playing with the local orchestra or ensembles.

Living in the last half of the 20th century

The one thing about living half a century in the 20th was to see the quickness of change that technology brought and how the public discourse has changed. I was reading this post at The Strange Death of Liberal America, "Can Right and Left be friends?" which made me think about a childhood friend, an adult neighbor, who had many discussions with my dad about politics. He was a Republican and my dad, a Democrat. The  conversations never got toxic, didn't create the animus that seem to be so prevalent today. I also thought about a college friend who didn't seem to be so rigid, as to get angry when he was challenged, but forty years later had seem to have gotten ultra sensitive to any criticism. Then as one thought leads to another, I thought back to my childhood when there was not such a bridge between the Black Republican and Democrat. When Edward Brooke was a senator, we were all proud.

The generation gap was created during this time, which I never understood. Sometimes I think it was a media intervention. I could not fathom why there was so much controversy over the music. Rock seem to me to have the same roots as swing. When I said I had an  adult friend, it didn't go beyond the boundaries of adult and child, but I could talk to this person about most things. I remember another neighbor who would give  me cookies or something to drink and sit on the porch and chat with me. At five I was treated with respect as if I had been twenty. As an adolescent I rebelled against my parents, but not to a point where there was a riff. I think when I grew up the expectation was that you would become an adult when you graduated from high school, so you were expected to be more responsible at an earlier age; no long transition into adulthood.

The advent of PC language, the increased sensitivity of groups, the idiocy of group think, the expansion of addictions, the constant talk without substance, seem to be inventions of the last half of the 20th century. I can't say I would have liked to have lived in other times, but I would  have liked the civility of my childhood to have lasted a little longer.

24 redux

Is this an instance where fat old men were wishing they were Jack Bauer?

Karl Rove defends waterboarding

Rant #9

Intrigue - n. - a mysterious or fascinating quality

Concise Oxford English Dictionary

So is everybody that is a celebrity, politician or interesting person intriguing? People magazine started it and now CNN has a feature called Intriguing People.

In a blink of an eye

Beaver Creek, Colorado 

Reminded by a friend's post describing the decent of Franz Klammer in his Gold Medal downhill race in the 1976 Olympics. I remember that run; it was exciting to me. It inspired me. I wanted to learn to ski. Soon forgot the desire, with the stuff of life happening.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kayaktherockies/ / CC BY-NC 2.0

Reading that post, rekindles my desire; but in the blink of an eye, almost 35 years have passed. Now my body is broken.

Landmark

Waiting on this day, to know if I've been forgotten.

The New Year

It is already into the mid of January and I am not well. I had another round with back pain and a knee injury flare up. Both had me flat on my back, unable to move and in much pain. Have been laid up so much these past months that I am week and cannot walk very well. Lost weight and muscle and I'm feeling much older than I should. I wonder if I will ever feel as I did ever a year ago.

As it is, I haven't felt like blogging. I don't want to shut down this blog just yet, because I may in the future feel I need to speak.

To those that have visited: Have a Happy New Year

----- Merry Christmas -----

Lost

What ever changes Google has made recently, has changed my ability to have the widgets I want on my iGoogle page and this blog. I am too lazy to investigate, even though I am irritated that I can only use widgets that are for Gen X,Y or whomever Google thinks are their followers (zombies).

The Harvest Feast

The first Thanksgiving a creation myth of America, reinvented in many ways. One to suit each century. The myths change and Thanksgiving is looked upon as the bountiful feast celebrating the appreciation of life, love and family. Thank goodness for that.

Happy Thanksgiving