September 02, 2006

No miracles for this colored girl.

What was I thinking? I had not gone through a really life threatening operation. The kidney transplant had problems, didn’t expect miracles, it all seem like weird science. When the ordeal was done it would be a new beginning. I had to finish college and try to find a new job. Three years later I have graduated, still have no new job, but I had thought just maybe I would find someone to share my life, a partner, that I had not defined. Then I heard his name, could that be him, out of the past and I got in touch; hoping that fate would treat me kind, that I would not ruin the opportunity and I could deal with any outcome. What was I thinking? A fairy tale reunion, like those events on Oprah; I forgot who I was. No fairy tale ending and I couldn’t deal with it, so I wish I could dance to djembe drums to exorcise the unrequited love and desire and to become part of the rhythm and dance until all emotion is wrung out of my body. I want the trance of Vodou.

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